1. I don't own a dog because I hate poop. If I don't want to clean up after my own dog, I most certainly don't want to clean up after your dog. What in the world is so hard about this people..
2. Seriously, the juniors section is for juniors. In high school. If you aren't seventeen anymore, don't shop there. I don't want to see butt crack and cleavage when you bend over. Or when you sit down. I'm also tired of explaining this to my kids..
3. Same goes for bathing suits. There comes a time when the bikini simply has to be retired. (For me it was 2005) Just own it and move on..
4. A chocolate covered donut with sprinkles is not a sandwich. I'm not serving it for lunch.
5. Let me introduce you to the word no. Clearly your child doesn't hear it very often.
6. Every body in the world is busy. Are we all in a competition to see who is the busiest these days? I would prefer to go back to who has the best personality and the best hair and visit with my friends..
7. You really can survive on 6 hours of sleep. Trust me.
8. You most definitely can survive two weeks without seeing your spouse. If you whine to me about it, I'm probably going to roll my eyes at you. Or walk away. Or literally bite.my.tongue.in.two.
9. If you always have to tell people how awesome you are - you're probably the only one that thinks that. The rest of us, we just smile and wave.
10. Quit being such a Negative Nancy, Drama Llama and Sally Showoff on Facebook. I'm pretty sure there's a limit to how many people you can hide on Facebook. Pretty soon, I'm going to hide myself.
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