tic tock

Tic tock, the game is locked. And no one else can play. Hooray!!! A friend of mine used to say this at work all the time. It has stuck with me and pretty much sums up how I feel at this point in my pregnancy. Right now I feel like time is dragging on, standing still if at all possible. The temperatures and humidity are absolutely ridiculous and it's miserable.

I'm in the final weeks and still feel pretty good. I'm still walking every day and have finally unpacked and organized everything for Baby D. Our final car seat arrived last week and is waiting to be installed in the gray bus. It is appalling to me how much money we have tied up in car seats alone. We could have purchased a small used car for less than we've spent on car seats. I feel like the kids are in the safest seats available, especially important with the crazy drivers down here, so it is worth every penny.

A friend of mine asked me the other day if I was sad or nostalgic about this being my very last pregnancy. I am not. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't enjoy being pregnant. Surprising because it appears to be a constant state for me. I'm very grateful and blessed that I have been able to experience this four times but I have no desire to do it again. My pregnancies are always difficult and this one has been the toughest by far. I'm somewhat sad to know that this will be the last baby I hold that is my own. I'm definitely not sad enough to willingly put myself through this again. We originally thought we were going to stop at three. I knew right after I had Will I wanted one more. I remember sitting in the hospital, holding Will a few hours after he was born, telling Jason I didn't feel like this was it. Jason, of course, looked at me like I had six heads and had completely lost my mind. I've always wanted two girls and two boys and finally feel like our family is complete.